He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
