at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
