you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
