He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
