She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
