Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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