I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
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