I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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