Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
