I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
