now i know why i became what i already was.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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