i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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