Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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