ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
