So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
