Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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