I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
