I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
