The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
