That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
