quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize