I bet he comes in French.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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