You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
