Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
