HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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