this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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