How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
