Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
