so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
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I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
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I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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