I think I am morally bankrupt
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
