Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
