My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
