I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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