i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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