oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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