dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Randomize
