No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
