I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
