i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
if only i could text you this smell
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
