my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
