Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
