im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
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