Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
