So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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