a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
