Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize