Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
