So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
