he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
