i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
