I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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