i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
