I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
