its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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