Pregnant stripper...not hot.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
