it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize