did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
