So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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