God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
