5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize