hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
