he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
