well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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