I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I think people are normalizing furries
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
