Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
