What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
