my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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