Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I have fence marks all over my body
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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